Slow Moves
Have you taken the time to understand your feelings or are you ignoring them?
Are you choosing to slow down and be mindful?
What does it look like to truly rest?
Are you coming into these spaces as yourself or a representative of yourself?
I promise when my counselor asks these questions, I can't portray the eloquence and purpose she does it with without having you sit in on a session. Since I won't do that (#boundaries), I will leave you with poorly remembered questions to prove a specific point. The point is it is super dumb that the healing process is slow and filled with hard work.
Can you tell that my psychology degree provided an articulate discovery? In my defense, I didn't get the Master's Degree, and I hear that's when you learn how to make conclusions that aren't unhelpful complaints. And it isn't so much trying to avoid the work as it is frustrating that the work shows you there is still more work.
All of this work, and I am still in the valley, annoyed that my feelings are still hurt and I am still dealing with the aftermath of a situation I did not ask for or create for myself. Mind you, where I'm at is better than the beginning. But that does not change the fact that this journey is so dang slow.
I could continue to complain or admit this practice of slowly moving through a season has perks. It is almost as though my counselor's method of "deal, feel, heal, and seal" is the kind of work that will lead to impactful, lasting change. The call to slow down and be aware may lead to finding pockets of joy amid sorrow and growth under the weight of pain. To finally recognize that at some point, life won't only happen to me. Soon (hopefully), I will feel like an active participant in my life.
So, that leaves us with a choice. When I first started writing this, I wanted to ask you to hold me accountable, but instead, I want us to do something together. I want us to choose to slow down and be present. To choose to be active in our emotions and maybe spend fewer drives home disassociated and unsure if we broke any driving laws. (Whew, I am starting to sound all counsel-y. Please get an actual counselor. I am not licensed.)
Maybe after our turtle-like pace forward, we will finally have our moment on the other side of the valley.
Now here is my little "everyone should get a counselor" PSA. You may only need a few sessions to walk through life, be introspective, and/or gain healthy skills for the future. Or maybe there is a traumatic, annoying, or anything in-between situation that you must work through with a trained professional. Check-ups are great and are not only for your physical health but your mental health as well. All that to say, counseling is for EVERYBODY!