girl seeking an authentic connection online.
Online dating.
Sometimes you have a conversation with a friend about online dating and then you think, "I mean why not... I could end up with the love of my life or just delete the app." Then next thing you know you have Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, and Tinder on your phone and it's officially a whole thing. One minute you are spending five dollars at a coffee shop in hopes of meeting your future husband and the next you are swiping right in hopes that somebody will buy you coffee.
Dating in the real world is weird. I mean outside of college how do you run into a lot of people your age? And it only gets harder when you are new to an area, you don't know anybody, and you are just looking for some sort of connection. With all of this in mind, online dating started to make a lot more sense to me. However, after a month of swiping right and left, one failed date, way too many awkward conversations, and a decent guy ghosting me (still kind of bitter) I decided that online dating wasn't for me. At least for now. And now that this round is complete I can share my experience for research purposes.
When I started this whole thing, I expected to hear a lot of negative comments. However, I was very surprised by the outcome of my very scientific Instagram poll and the comments made afterward. I mean it makes sense considering that our generation is pretty connected via social media sites. Other aspects of our lives are connected to sites like Instagram, so why not our love life?
*Depends on the app and person. Outgoing individuals could fare better because they find community.
Depends on the app/website also what you're looking for
*Some apps are better than others. I 'm currently seeing someone I met on hinge and I am super lucky
*Tried it. Didn't really know what I was doing. Made me uncomfortable.
*I think it would be fun! But honestly avoid Cmingle [Christian Mingle] and Match.com. They're meh.
So, there are a ton of different types of dating apps and each of them has a different feel. A lot of them now encourage the girl to make the first move, which helps shape the conversation (praise!). So my personal fave was Bumble followed by Hinge, Tinder was next and Coffee Meets Bagel was last (because I am not sure I did it right and I ran out of beans and I just wasn't a fan). I found that it was easy to fall into a rhythm of mindlessly swiping left and right. And even as an outgoing person, I had such a hard time being interesting or striking up good conversations. At times it was a ton of fun, but other times it was just a lot of work that made me kind of uncomfortable because I got into my head and overanalyzed everything. I would just suggest that you try it and see. I am a strong believer that the worst that happens is that you realize you're not a fan and delete the apps.
*A guy messaged me to ask if the other girl in my photo was available
*A guy drove a few hours to meet me... it didn't work out for us, but he is serious with someone else.
There are a lot of misses that come with online dating. However, it will also happen in real life. One of my misses is that I met a pretty cool guy and out of the blue he quit texting me. I was reminded that all of this is too much work and I would rather stress over so many other things instead of whether or not I would get ghosted by some guy. (Also, my date was a fail... but I'll tell you about that later.)
"For future research"
It was for research so don’t come at me with air quotes!
My cousin wanted to put me on a dating app and I let her haha. Family bonding time
I think it's great! Like who cares if you don't meet "naturally" you don't need have to marry that person.
0/10 call me old fashioned but I'd rather meet and & date in person!
Online dating still comes with this stigma. In fact, when looking at profiles, many guys would say that they would come up with another story for how you two met. However, one thing somebody mentioned to me about the comment above is that the goal of online dating is to meet in person. Your dating will be in real life, but you are giving yourself more opportunities to meet people. I mean personally, I am either at school or work. So, my chances of meeting somebody are awfully slim... doesn't mean it won't happen, but there are many people out there that you may never run into because of the logistics of life. All I am trying to say is that online dating is an opportunity to get to meet people that you may never cross paths. So, don't quickly count it out because it isn't the traditional way of doing this. However, if it is not your thing, then truly don't do it. Just don't make others feel bad for doing it... remember, it's hard to meet people out here
Can be v dangerous esp. in a big city & I speak from exp! proceed with caution!
Super fun. I went on like 4 dates by took a lot of precautions. Made 1 friend out of it! No bf tho :(
My personal experience with an online irl date: We made plans to grab coffee at a very public coffee shop (safety and all) on a Thursday, but tbh I really wasn't feeling it. I had just started binge-watching Jane the Virgin and all I wanted to do was come home from work and watch it until it was time to go to bed. Well, I got my wish because he deleted me on the app (or maybe I did without realizing it) and I had no way to contact him. I could have gone to said coffee shop to see if he showed up, but then again Jane the Virgin. So, my one and only experience was a huge fail.
Online dating comes with extra risks. Like safety issues. So if you're into that then do it, tbh sounds fun. Maybe start with Christian mingle.
I think using apps is okay as long as you're careful about it. But dating someone you've only talked to online is sketchy! Lol that's a great way to be catfished.
The first thing people tend to mention when talking about online dating is safety. However, if you think about it, you can meet some unsavory characters in real life. Who knows if that nice guy you met at a book store is not actually some weirdo that has been stalking you ("You" on Netflix). You have to have wisdom in all dating situations even if you've known the person for a long time. However, it is so easy to set yourself up for success by
Telling your friends where you are going and with who
Texting your friends that you got there and left safely
Having a friend be on call to call you to get you out of said date (lame I know, but you gotta do what you gotta do)
Go to a public place
Don't tell them where you live
You just need to make sure that you are being smart. I have heard horror stories from girls that met their date at bars, church, or work. There is always a risk when you are interacting with other people, which is why you should always think about your safety and be smart.
I met my husband via online dating. Pros and cons for sure, but it works (lol).
If you think about it many of the people you know are married or dating somebody, they met online. It may or may not have been through an actual dating site, but it isn't uncommon. I am currently thinking of at least three couples dating because of Bumble, and there are so many more out there. Online dating is no longer that weird thing people do because they never leave their homes. We are so far past that, and so should our negative views. Who knows, the guy or girl you are looking for may also be looking to swipe right or like your photo...
- Met fiance on Tinder: It's another way of meeting good (or not so impressive) people. I mean like anything else, standards are high and values are priority. It can work tho...
- Me: I know a ton of people that have met their s/o or spouse online it’s cool to hear your thoughts on it
- Tinder fiance: It's still confusing though. Haha. Dating is fun and acutally very frustrating. Ha. My twenties have been so much of that. Oh this is fun… what welp guess that didn’t work out. Try again.
- Me: Yeah I’m not sure I’m ready for it!!
- Tinder fiance: Yessss you aren’t on anyone’s timeline!! I guess. It’s just important to not lose your why in the midst of it because it can be challenging but like anything you want - you’ve gotta keep working towards God’s vision and not letting dating compromise that! Meaning find someone that is equally yoked!! Lol
- Me: That's such a good word!!
Depends what you mean. If you're talking tinder, BAD idea from experience (used in personal... research). I've considered trying website based like Christian Mingle or eharmony. That's how my uncle met his wife of 15 years. So I'm conflicted. Let me know your consensus!
My consensus? Well, something that was cool is that I learned a lot about myself during this process. I realized that dating isn't my number one priority because I am currently struggling my way through Greek and my Master's degree. Also, I would rather watch Netflix than go on a date (priorities and all). However, online dating gets two thumbs up from me. I have met some pretty entertaining people and was reminded that I have standards and specific traits that I am looking for. I also remembered that dating is exhausting and trying to be interesting is a lot of work. So you can catch me on my couch watching a rom-com this Valentine's season versus trying to swipe right in hopes of a date.
A favorite part of this experience was the conversations that were struck up! So, if you have a story please share it in the comments below or hit me up on Instagram! We would love to share them and I would love to talk about online dating strategies or tips!
Also, dear friends go on the date. Just try it because you never know what will happen if you say yes! (this is technically pointed to a specific person but if the shoe fits).