with a lot of help from my God.
I always hate trying to come up with an intro for blogs. I mean, it is super important for explaining what you are going to be reading about for the rest of the post. However, I always put all of this pressure on myself to have this masterful paragraph of words that just magically hooks people’s attention and gives them this desire to read whatever is next. And that is important, but an intro, written well, also means, to me, that I have figured out the situation of the body. That I am able to fully articulate the problem and give an amazing solution and then wrap it up with something witty. What I am realizing now is that the reason I am struggling with this intro is that I am still trying to figure out exactly what is going on.
So, bear with me. In fact, give me a little grace because I thought I would have figured this out a few weeks ago. The goal was to talk about change and the fact that I’ve driven 1,000 miles from all that I know and love. I also wanted to explain that this has been one of the scariest things I have ever done and I call my mom constantly because I am so so confused about all of the things that I am supposed to do as an adult. I want to give encouragement that it all gets so much easier and that you’ll find your rhythm and people. However, I am pretty exhausted from trying to learn Greek, building all of the furniture in my room, and trying to find my own rhythm and people.
So, let’s be real. Change can kind of suck. I mean I love new things and I am so glad to be here, but I am currently sitting at a coffee shop about to cry because I am realizing that I have been going about 75 mph trying to get my life together so I can get a 3.7 GPA and avoid facing the craziness that has been dropped on my lap in the past month.
I don’t have a formula for you, but I do have a truth. “God is faithful and you can trust Him”¹. That’s all I have for you, but honestly, that is all we need. Anytime we want to just pretend that everything isn’t happening and just binge-watch Superstore or Friends, God reminds us that we were placed here for a reason and that He will get us through it. Whenever we are hit with an ache of loneliness and a pang of “I miss my friends and hate the fact that everybody is in the midwest and I am stuck in the South and I shouldn’t have watched another Cedarville Insta story,” feeling we are reminded that the Holy Spirit searches our heart and is praying for us (Romans 8: 26-27), and we are truly not alone. When we feel as though we are overwhelmed and that we are way out of our league, we must remember that we totally are, but we were never expected to do it alone.
I am realizing that being at my weakest has allowed God to truly be in control of all that is going on around me, and that is why I haven’t actually started crying at this coffee shop. God continues to prove Himself faithful and continues to show me that when I trust and just take the next step He has already planned everything. This is not to say that in the future that everything may fall apart and we may go through some of the most difficult and dark times in our lives. However, God has and continues to remind me, and hopefully you, that as I dwell in His shadow He will continue to protect me (Psalm 91), and ultimately all things will work together for good (Romans 8:28).
The reason why I cannot give you a formula is that I really haven’t done anything but follow behind God slightly nervous about what is next. However, I am making sure to fully trust that He has it all under control and lay all fears and worries at His feet. I am learning that days spent getting to know Him and seeking Him out in my quiet time and prayers are preparing me for the headaches seminary is handing out.